Summer Hiatus 2014…Sorta Kinda

10483689_10203239096476506_1679641813_o I hope all of you are enjoying the beginning of summer.

My summer has been moving at warp speed.  Last week, I went to Orlando for about 5 days on a school conference.  Although the trip started on my first day of summer vacay (which I was not too happy about), I actually had a great time and got to decompress a bit. I stayed at the absolutely FABULOUS Walt Disney Swan Dolphin hotel.  Here I am posing by the fountain in the lobby.

I also decided to work this summer (blasphemy) and took a position in my job’s summer school program.  Surprisingly, it’s been pretty cool and didn’t spoil my summer vacay.  I know most of you don’t care or feel sorry for me but I thought I’d just rub it in one…last…time.

But what I’m REALLY excited about are the changes going on with the blog. This Fall, Keep It Moving Blog will change from a personal to a niche blog.  This means that my topics will be more narrow and focused in scope.

Like I shared in an earlier post, my desire is to take my brand worldwide and pretty much monetize the blog (make money). In order to do that, it MUST become a niche.

Now don’t worry, it won’t stray too far from where it is now.  All of the posts will be focused on relationships (marriage, dating, family) and life lessons.  I feel this is where my true passion lies.

Some of the posts will still have a touch of fitness and weight loss where relevant, and of course you will get the quarterly posts with the laugh-out-loud shenanigans involving my grandma (seeing that it definitely fits under family).

So what does all this mean?

 

Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” –Jim Rohn

 

 

For the months of July and August, the majority of my attention will be placed on writing articles for the fall, back-end work on the site and tons of research. I will send you periodic updates and inspirational stuff while this is going on.

Actually, a lot of time will be spent on social media putting Keep It Moving Blog on “syndication.”  Previous posts will be re-released to get ready for the Grand Re-Opening in September.  Most of you are on social media, so click “subscribe” to the following pages:

Facebook (look to the right and click the box)

Twitter (same thing)

Linked In

Google+

My subscription provider (the site that sends each post to your email) will be new as well.  All of your addresses have already been moved over to the new provider, so when you receive any type of “invitation” asking to subscribe– RESPOND…otherwise you won’t get any more updates. I may send a few testers and/or personal emails to ensure everything is working, so don’t talk about or cuss me too bad.

Lastly, the site will be upgraded by adding an official logo (WOO HOO!!!), new profile pics and updated pages. I have an artist working on this right now. SO STOKED!

So as you see, there’s a lot going on here!

 

Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” –Tony Robbins

 

Am I excited..YEAH.  Am I scared…UH, YEAH!!!  But you know me, I can be excited and scared at the same time and still get it done!

I thank God for each and every one of you that have been a part of our movement and look forward to take this ride with you!

 

If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build end up building us.” –Jim Rohn

 

 

Permanent link to this article: http://www.keepitmovingblog.com/2014/07/06/summer-hiatus-2014-sorta-kinda/

Before there was Cliff Huxtable or Jason Seavers…there was MY dad

 

IMG_275986267706724_1

 

Father’s Day is an interesting phenomenon, especially if you are in the church world.

For Mother’s Day, restaurants and churches are packed out.  There is a sale on TV for over a month.

Father’s Day ads last for only a few weeks, you can get a dinner reservation the day before (or even the day of) and actually the attendance at church is the same or lower than it is on a regular Sunday.

In the wee hours Saturday morning, I went on Facebook to change my profile and cover to a pic with dad.  I probably was the only one out of my friends that did. For Mother’s Day, folks usually start this process on Thursday. That was it.  I was so annoyed I had to write this post!

What’s up with dad’s getting no love?

In the 80′s, we religiously watched the Cosby Show  (Cliff Huxtable played by Dr. Bill Cosby and Claire Huxtable played by Phylicia Rashad).  People said that type of black family didn’t really exist.  Interestingly enough, people totally believed that the parents on Growing Pains (Dr. Jason Seavers played by Alan Thicke [yeah, Robin Thicke's dad] and Maggie Seavers played by Joanna Kerns) existed.  You can figure that out for yourself.

There were (and are) a lot of black dad’s like Cliff Huxtable and I know many of them personally.  There may not have been a doctor and a lawyer together in the home, but the parents were some sort of professional and had the same principles.  Our household was like this and my parents have been married for 42 years.

Mom’s get all the love because they give birth to and nurture us, but dad’s have a very pivotal and overlooked role in our development.

Dad’s are the first guy that we have a relationship with. They provide us with a sense of stability. They help us to have confidence (especially girls) and teach us how to be or what to see in a good man.

The media gives black dads a bad rap. Most of the portrayals of black dads are either some guy down on his luck or some dead-beat guy trying to skip out on his child support from one of his many “baby mamma’s.”

With all that being said, this post is dedicated to those overlooked dad’s that are doing it right.  So let me give a shout-out to my dad!

 

He’s just a headache looking for a head.” –Fred Johnson, III 

About Fred Johnson, III a.k.a. My Daddy Fathers-Day-Quotes-Gift-Ideas-Happy-Fathers-Day-2013-8

My first memory of dad was when I was about 2-3 years old.  My parents were coming in from some late night event. I was tired and didn’t feel like walking into the house.  I pretended to be sleep (guess this was my first memory of a manipulative move) so he would pick me up and carry me into the house.

He would take my sister and I EVERYWHERE!  We would go to this huge park to feed the ducks and fly kites, hang out with his friends at his softball games and eat a ton of sweet stuff we probably had no business eating like moon pies (a southern thing), Bubble Yum gum, lots of peppermint, and Necco’s. I really enjoyed going to this little hole-in-the wall fish place where we would get a traditional Chattanooga, TN fish sandwich: white bread, two thick pieces of fried whiting, mustard, pickle and cole slaw (yes, on the sandwich) held together with a toothpick.  And don’t forget the Nehi grape or Tahitian Treat soda. Yummy!

Dad likes to have a lot of fun. He likes to joke around, play sports (nowadays lots of golf) and thinks he can dance. He was the cool dad that would take me and my friends to concerts (it was kind of weird for him to be at the New Edition concert with three pre-teen girls screaming for Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike and Ralph), to the movies and some other awesome places.

Dad was very active in church and school.  He made sure we were in Sunday School every week and volunteered us for every play (of course we would find out after he signed us up…). He was part of the PTA, went to all the parent and report card meetings, checked your grades and helped you with your math homework.

Although dad was the cool dad, he didn’t mess around when it came to discipline. He is an old-school dude, so he was big on us being polite and mannerly with all the ‘yes ma’am’ and ‘yes sir’s.”  Most of the time, he only needed to cut his eye at you and you would straighten up.  If you did something really bad, he would whoop you (southern term for a really bad spanking).  He tries to act like he doesn’t remember that.  What made it worse is he would whoop you and then want to have a long talk about it.  Did he really need to explain that and did I really care?

 

Success is your best revenge.” –Fred Johnson, III

 

During my undergraduate and graduate years in college, dad used to write me letters on a monthly or quarterly basis.  In the letters he would talk about things that happened when I was a kid and explain them.  He would talk about his philosophy of life and mistakes that he made.  He would talk about his rationale for how he raised us and expectations that he had of us as adults.  This gave me a deeper appreciation and understanding of my parents and my childhood.

 

Dad In the Now…

To this day, if dad is seeing us for the first time in a day he greets us with a smile, a big hug and plants a nice, wet warm one square on the forehead.

As an adult, my sister and I have a high level of respect for dad. We make our own decisions, but in the back of our minds we take his standards into consideration.

We can call him when we need something (just know that his advice will include some random 3-point manifesto along with a few quotes).  There would always be some quirky story, almost like he was trying to be like Jesus with the parables and all.  His favorite go-to lesson was from his dad:

When my dad got his first job out of college he worked for Dupont and was making $13,000 a year.  In 1973 that was a lot of money.  The first thing he wanted to do was to buy a new car.  He talked to his dad about this.  His dad schooled him on what his priorities should be in life but dad was still adamant about getting the new car.  Granddaddy said “Son, I’m going to let you in on a secret.  They make new cars every year.”  That was the end of that conversation.

I use that illustration a lot with my students.  Here are some other “Fredisms” that I have shared with my friends and students in our conversations:

  • Respect your elders. If you were a supervisor or 10 years older, you were to be addressed as a Mr. or Mrs.  I still practice that at work and other places I go.
  • He believes that after God, the most important assets are your name and your credit (score). He is BIG on doing thing in integrity and making a good name for yourself.
  • He judges a situation by if it’s illegal, unethical or immoral (there he goes with the 3′s again).
  • He believes in the letter of law and the spirit of the law. There are rules in place (letter of the law) to maintain order and protect people, however, there are exceptions for rules to be broken (spirit of the law).
  • He believes that you should do your best, do more than is expected of you, but also have fun.  Life is short and family is paramount.
  • Rules without relationship leads to rebellion.  You have to develop relationships with your kids and people that work for you before and while you are just spouting out orders.  They will either resent or go all out for you.

I hope you saw some of your dad in Mr. Fred Johnson, III.  If you didn’t know your dad or didn’t have the best dad, live vicariously through this post.

Your challenge today is to reach out to all the good fathers in your life: husband, brothers, friends, etc. that have been positive role models in your life and the lives of others.  They will really appreciate it.

In the meantime, enjoy this Father’s Day video that came out a few years ago (hence the flip phone).  Hysterical!

Love you dad!  From Nikki & Nita

 

 

 

 

 

Permanent link to this article: http://www.keepitmovingblog.com/2014/06/15/before-there-was-cliff-huxtable-or-jason-seaver-there-was-my-dad/

Unleashing Your Deepest Fear in Spite of the Paralysis Life Brings


derby 3

You’ve seen the horses at the derby waiting in the gates.  They are in a frenzy to charge the gates, but the door is holding them back and the gun hasn’t gone off yet.  The jockeys feed them some kind of calming agent to keep them steady until the gates open. But man, when the gun goes off and the gate lifts WATCH OUT!

 

We all have that “thing” that paralyzes us and keeps us stuck in an unproductive state. The paralysis comes in many forms: laziness, procrastination, wasting time– you name it. We have that significant thing that we are supposed to do with our life—but we are just stuck.  Our bodies are in fluid motion, but we don’t realize our soul and dreams are just stuck.

I love the movie Coach Carter.  Samuel L Jackson plays a coach that took over a failing basketball team in a failing school.  His character asked one of his players “Son, what is your greatest fear?”  The player didn’t know what to say because he really didn’t understand the question.  He didn’t know what his greatest fear was.  He seemed paralyzed by the question.

 

My Greatest Fear 

For the past two years, my fear was losing it all. Sometimes I sat and looked out the window and wondered how I even got there.

I am not the same person that I was before my divorce.  That’s a great thing and it’s a horrible thing.

It changes you and whoever says it doesn’t is straight-out lying.  I have noticed that I have gotten a little quieter.  That little bubble that I used to live in called “bliss” has busted.  It gives you some edge, a hot dose of reality.

That’s what I felt like while I was waiting for the final paperwork phase of my divorce.  My faith, the blog, wine, and food were my calming agents while I waiting for my release.

I had ideas, plans and dreams of some things that I wanted to do. I wanted to start a business.

I’m one of those people who likes to compartmentalize everything.  I like to start new things in a fresh space.  I don’t like to put new wine in old wine skins.

So the plan was to just sit and wait until everything ended. I was so focused on that my life was put on hold.  I felt like I needed to wait until the divorce was over before I could start.  It’s great to want a fresh new start, but that’s not always ideal.

I was in a battle between fear and faith.  I had faith that God would pull me through, but I also walked around with anxiety and the paranoia that my world and my things would be snatched from me in an instant.  I knew that it was a faulty perception because my attorney had already told me that once you file divorce papers, whatever is acquired after the posting date is considered yours and cannot be used in the agreement phase.  Although I knew that, I was still paranoid.

I fell into fear, you know the ‘False Expectations Appearing Real.’ At some point I had to stop the fear because worrying and being in fear means that you don’t trust God. Period.

At the end of the day, I had to revisit my lesson on competing commitments.  My competing commitment was that I put my life on hold for fear that I would lose my future business.

What all this meant was that I was allowing a person to have control over me, my life and my actions.

When Coach Carter’s player became tired of being asked what his greatest fear was, he did some research.  So the next time coach asked him, he was ready:

Oh, But When the Gate Lifts!

At some point, my girlfriend Sharon said “Look Boo. You can’t put your life on hold. Just go ahead and do what you need to do. God will take care of the rest.” That was the same Sunday morning I talked to my friend Donna to get unstuck on an issue.

At that moment, I got my release and it was like the scene from Rocky II where Adrian was in the coma and Rocky was waiting for her to wake up.  She woke up and said one word. That was all he needed.  He and his trainer made haste like a bat out of hell:

 

 

Unleashing the Fear!

SJH_Serenity-Prayer

The Serenity Prayer

Now of course I didn’t have some guy slapping and punching my abs and I dang sure wasn’t chasing chickens but you get the idea. I was a force to be reckoned with though!

Once you have realized and acknowledged your deepest fear, take these action steps:

  • Make a list of the problems or issues that you are dealing with.
  • Determine which are things that you can change and which ones you can’t (remember the Serenity Prayer?).  This is key as we waste a lot of time here.
  • Place focus on the things that you CAN change and put together a plan.  Start with the things that are really small and you can get out of the way.  It will give you a sense of accomplishment early on.
  • Find out what your calming agent is (i.e food, tv, drinking, etc.) and begin eliminating the negative one–they are a distraction.
  • Check out my recent blog posts Un-Stucking Thyself and Un-Stucking Thyself…Some More.  There are a list of items and action steps to get you moving.

Good luck and God Bless.  You got this!

A special shout out to Donna, Sharon and Oglatha for helping me weed through this process.

 

 

 

Permanent link to this article: http://www.keepitmovingblog.com/2014/06/08/unleashing-your-deepest-fear-in-spite-of-the-paralysis-life-brings/

Older posts «

%d bloggers like this: