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Holiday Workout Blues: Pet Peeves & Non-Negotiables

When I say she was sitting there butt naked, I mean just that. When I say “they” were sagging, I mean that too. That moment was confirmation for me.

Let me go backwards a bit.

This time of year a lot of us are inundated with holiday parties and food.  Conversely, there are tons of commercials from gyms and weight loss places enticing you with deals to plug-in.

I wanted to get ahead of the game this year.

On the day before Thanksgiving, I made sure I went to the gym the night before. I was anticipating the torture that lay before me from my trainer.

I always end my sessions with 15 minutes in the dry sauna, so I go in the locker room before I get started to make sure the heat settings are so by the time I get in it will be just right.

So I go in to check and what do I see? Horror!

This old lady sitting butt naked in the sauna with her boobs all out. I looked at her in distress. She looked at me in more distress.


I was not prepared for that. I’m trying to decide which one was worse–this scene or the day I walked in the locker room and some chick that had no business with a thong on was bending over with her bare butt aimed at the door. I think this scene wins hands down. It’s bad enough there is a sign there that says you have to be covered. I walked out in distress. No sauna for me.


Your future success is hidden in your daily routine.” – Dr. Mike Murdock 


Well actually, I did get in after my trainer massacred me but it was well after she left.  No T&A will come between me and my post-workout ritual.

So, this week I’m getting ready to get in the sauna and some random old lady walks barefoot and butt-naked from the locker room to the toilet.  This grossed out me and everyone in the bathroom, especially because she really needed to shave. You can figure that one out.

I quickly went to my sauna haven.

It was like an old western–we all just waited for her to come out. She was in there forever.  I was thinking about her getting an extreme case of athletes foot and wondered if she sat on the toilet without putting anything on the seat. People were really vocal with their comments and snickers.  I wondered if she found some secret way out of the stall.

When she finally came out, she washed her hands (I think) and grabbed three paper towels.  She dried her hands with one and walked towards the sauna with the other two.  She opens the door, walks in and smiles at me with the two small towels in her hand.  Yes, she put the towels on the seat and sat on them.

De ja vu.

On that note, I left the sauna.  Again, I need to be prepared for something like that.


 You have to know when to hold ‘em, and know when to fold ‘em”                                   -Kenny Rogers from The Gambler


Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t have anything against old people.  They are some of my favorite people.  It wouldn’t matter if she was a young hot thing–she actually was pretty fit.  I have no problem with people naked in the locker room.  It’s about things being out of place and out of order.

People not wearing flip-flops on bare locker room floors–pet peeve.  If you want to risk getting athletes foot that’s your business. Sitting in the sauna butt naked–non-negotiable.  I have an idea of where your butt has been and I don’t want the essence on my seat.  You have made it my business.

I am sure this will happen again so I am on a search for a pair of dark glasses for my next sauna visit. In the meantime, please pray for me that I get delivered from this “nakedness in the sauna” foolishness.  I gotta stay fit through the holidays…by any means necessary!


I would love to hear your stories about quirky things you see in the locker room or things that irk you in the gym.  And as usual your comments on this post are much welcomed!

Permanent link to this article: http://www.keepitmovingblog.com/2012/12/12/holiday-workout-blues-pet-peeves-non-negotiables/

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