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Why My Life Has Been in Disarray for the Last 40 Years…



Over the past few weeks, I’ve been enjoying reading all the posts about people excited about the new year. And yes, I have seen my share of resolutions and formation of support groups (weight loss, vision boarding, etc.).  Very noble stuff.

Personally, I’m not into new year resolutions because most people don’t keep them anyway. I am one of them.  I do better with keeping an ongoing list that rolls over into every year.


Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve stuck with it ever since.” — Dave Beard


What I can say is that I at least do some reflection of the previous year of what has and hasn’t worked for me.  Then I make some decisions.

This year was a bit different.  As I went through Facebook I realized something– my life has been in disarray for the last 40 years.  And I feel a bit deceived by that.  Let me tell you why.

The Disarray…

MDG : Power of vegetable :cowpea or black eye pea

Black-eyed peas

Ok, so I spent New Year’s with two of my girlfriends.  We planned on spending the day having some snacks, making a few toasts and watching the first season of Big Bang Theory (love that Sheldon!). So as we are just getting started we are seeing posts about the traditions and rituals that people do we realize we hadn’t done any.  Actually, we hadn’t done most of them for quite some years: Having money in your pocket, throwing salt over the shoulder, the eating of pork and the no eating of chicken.

We researched some of these things on-line to see where these bizarre rituals came from. The most interesting were:


  • Washing clothes before midnight. Supposedly to start the year fresh.  If you don’t, then it means someone close to you will die or disappear.  That’s kind of dark.
  • Black eyed peas.  That’s mostly a black thing. It also goes back to the civil war, a raid and pork and black-eyed peas being the only the troops were blessed to have to eat. Another culture sees eating black-eyes peas as being humble because it was the simplest and cheapest bean.
  • Watch night service. Another black thing. This is where black folks go to church to ring in the new year. Actually, historically it has nothing to do with Jesus. Go figure. It began in 1863 when the slaves waited on December 31 to find out if they would be freed on January 1.  They waited in mostly churches.
  • The first person to walk into your house should be a man.  I couldn’t find a good explanation for that one. We have a pretty hard time accomplishing that on a regular day.


New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot! Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.” — Jay Leno


After reviewing this list and other random items, for a brief moment we realized how much bad luck we brought on us.  How could we have gone so long without doing these things?  This is why our lives have been so screwed up.

Then we just fell out and laughed historically. All that crap was utter BS! I mean really, who comes up with this stuff.


Idris Elba- Might be, could be baby daddy

So we made our own stuff up:

  • We washed clothes and threw a picture of the person that we wanted to get rid of in the machine.  We didn’t want them to die, but have a real sense of urgency for them to go away.
  • We rinsed the dishes out and washed them the next day.
  • We would have been delighted to have a man be the first person to walk in the door.  Actually, he didn’t even have to be the first person.  Idris Elba was busy so we posted his picture. I just cheated and asked the boy who lived next door to help me carry a heavy box in the door. Ok, I’m lying. I just thought about it.
  • We made our own little new years snack.  We poured some cream liqueur (Caruva that is made with Barbados rum and cream with cinnamon flavor) in the bottom of a dessert bowl.  Then sliced up some bread pudding and pan-fried it in olive oil spray so it would be nice and crispy on the outside. Topped it off with a nice scoop of vanilla bean ice cream and a little more Caruva. We also had a crab pie (like a quiche) that was just DIVINE!  This will be our thing for years to come.



Our little dessert concoction

It just ain’t that serious…

Well, needless to say for me rituals and resolutions are for the birds!

Those of you that are working on some, I wish you the best.  Really, I do. Get those goals together, lose that weight, be nicer to people, save some money.  You know those are the basics.

In the meantime, keep it moving!



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  1. Donetta McQueen

    The one I grew up with all of them except the one about the watch night service. I wasn’t raised in the church. As for resolutions, I stopped making those a long time ago. It didn’t really work for me. Glad to see that I wasn’t the only one who was a bit confused about these practices.

  2. AJ

    I love the idea of starting new traditions especially since I’m not crazy about the current ones… Washing your clothes with the picture is a great idea and hilarious.

    1. Nichole Renee

      AJ, thanks so much for your comment. That washing clothes thing actually worked!

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